where I am, who I am

I am a different me every place I go.  

I am a different me in this Israeli desert than I was in the sugar cane fields of the Dominican Republic, the mud huts of Kenya, the mountains in Colombia, the old precinct on the corner of 182nd and Wadsworth, my own apartment, my sister's house, or any other place I find myself.  

I adapt to my environment, to the people and the culture and the social norms surrounding me. 

I sponge information on a consistent basis, learning my role in the midst of it. 

I learn how I fit into the world around me, when I should speak or be silent, when I should move or stay still, when I should object or concede.

I know which battles to engage in.  I know which conversations to let dissolve in the abyss. I know what is worth my energy and what to disengage from.  

It's a skill that has taken me a lifetime to achieve and it's a skill that I will never fully possess.  

I know who I am based on where I am.

I appreciate this chameleonic trait about myself.  It's one of the qualities within myself that I most value. And yet, even more than I value social, physical, and emotional adaptation, I value my ability to be who I truly am, regardless of where I find myself in this world. 

I value knowing where I will bend or break. I value knowing the lines that I won't cross and the ones I'll easily skip over.  I value that I value my value system enough remain true to my center. 

I know that I will always align myself with love.  I know that I will consciously seek out the oppressed and join them in solidarity. I know that will actively use my creativity to be a problem solver. I know that I will never be forced to resort to violence.  I know that I will object to anything or anyone that looks to objectify people. I know that I look to be an agent of peace and reconciliation in physical and emotional and spiritual places. I know that I will spend my life looking to join in the renewal of all things. 

I know who I am independent of where I am.

This is the journey of my life.

It's been a journey filled with equal parts opportunity, tears, joy, brokenness, persistence, failure, success, and resiliency.  

I can look back, at the different stages of me, and easily see how I've grown into the current version that sits in this desert tent. 

I can see the young girl that wanted to please everyone. I can see the kid that used sarcasm as a weapon and a shield. I can see the teenager that had an answer before anyone asked a question.  I can see the rebel that rejected all that she had been spoon fed.  I can see the wanderer, fueled by wonder in the minute. I can see the prodigal that returned to a different home than the one that she had left. 

I can see me, the whole of who I am, and the journey that has led me here.  

The journey has led me to be deeply connected to the ever so gentle voice in my core.  It's the guide for my every step, the whisper that rushes over me in the roar of the moment.  It's my most reliable companion and my most trusted resource. 

It lets me give up part of myself in order to connect to every single soul that I've ever encountered. It lets me hold on to exactly who I am in the midst of any circumstance. 

It's the center of my existence anywhere and everywhere I go.